I’m never dishonest in confessing that I love straight hair. I just do. It’s pretty. I love all kinds of hair, but I just love seeing a healthy head of straight hair. I couldn’t survive with straight hair, and that was a conclusion I had to face.
A growing trend I am also noticing is that women are going back to relaxed/texlaxed hair after being natural for a while. While I don’t encourage this because I know the work it takes to maintain processed hair, I also understand when someone says they don’t want to spend x=(days)^2 on their hair anymore. It’s frustrating.
For those who are moving back to the relaxer world, those who want to still relax but have more texture, or those who want to transition sloooooowly, texlaxing is a better option. Your still processing the hair, but the maintenance involved is a) more than natural hair but b) less than bone straight hair. Think of healthy hair when I say this. Also, wash days and styling are a) less time consuming than natural hair and b) more time consuming than bone straight hair. This is not the case for all hair types, because curl and thickness varies, but variations can cause the reasons why the creamy crack is back at it again.
For those stuck in these positions where this type of under processing wants to be done but your conflicted, this is my personal experience:
-For those who relax straight, you will always feel like “I look like I need a perm!” It’s takes a while to get over it and it doesn’t go away overnight; you’ve just got to live with it 😦
-For those who are natural, under processing will make the hair easier to deal with, but it won’t take the curls away. Thats not a bad thing.
-A texlaxed regimen is WORK!!!! What works today does not work tomorrow and while that can be said about all hair types, for texlaxed hair, something as simple as a change in degree, humidity or dew point can have a dramatic effect on styling results and product effectiveness. You’ll hate your life like I did after that episode of Game of Throne when everyone is killed at the castle all because a king broke his promise to marry some other kings daughter. Yes, the anger is real! The perfect example: gel. I have 3 different kinds; Garnier Fructis Clear which is good in spring, Ecostyler worked well in the summer but As I Am smoothing gel is the champion right now. I tried Oiudad humidity gel and it was an epic fail unless the weather is dry Likewise with moisturizers and proteins. Finding good products is like the Hunger Games, and some products are really just seasonal sometimes, whether you like it or not! I mostly experience these problems with air dried or diffused hair.
-Heavy and Light do not a good moisturizer make. Texlaxed hair is a good between texture: not natural and not really relaxed in the way we see relaxed hair. The same can be said about product use. Heavier moisturizers are just that, heavy. Light moisturizers are a joke half the time, trust me. Even people with thin hair who are texlaxed sometimes find themselves complaining about moisturizers that don’t sink in. There is a lot of trial and error in the hair world but a good moisturizer is like taking Buckleys; you buy it because it’s supposed to be soooooo good at its job, then you use it, and hope it stays down and works because if not…. Not cool. Ive witnessed this with my mother in public once. I ran to the other side of the store. You can’t run from your hair… unless you have a wig or a cap and right now I don’t have either lol.
-You do get versatile hair after a while. When I roller set, my hair is straight and behaves with minimal heat. You’d think I was straighter than I appear. When my hair is in a twist out, I can fake the funk for a bit because the added texture is like “Ay mami, Mira que nice!” I don’t need much heat for straight hair and I don’t need much time for styling air dried/diffused hair. It is really becoming the best of both worlds.
-You definitely learn to stretch longer because you are dealing with you natural texture more.
One of the biggest things I appreciate about texlaxed hair is that like my husband, I don’t like change, so texlaxed hair is easing me into that change. Its a really slow transition. I’ve become more patient and accepting to my natural texture. I grew up hating my hair because of the time, effort and cursing that came along with styling it, salon visits that resulted in the famous words “Burn, Mami Burn?” And this perception of straight haired beauty. Not everyone can big chop like they’re a chia pet (I get so jealous in a good way when I see peoples progress after a year because it seems like a long time in the present but the growth is usually phenomenal) and not everyone wants to go through the short or long term transition. I really admire those who do either or both, but I know within me, it’s something I cannot do right now 😦 Transitioning take mental capability. Ive been transitioning for almost 2 years now and I am just now liking and becoming comfortable with my texlaxed hair.
My husband, who is Dominican, but you’d swear he was a gringo (white guy) asked me years ago why wouldn’t I go natural. I looked at him like he laced his blunt with dust. My answer: because my natural and your natural are not the same natural. He didn’t get it, just that he wished he had texture and that I should be happy I have different hair. Now, here I am years later, with textured hair and here he is loving my hair when its in dookie braids/twists and braid/twist outs. While I’m happy to know he loves my textured hair and thats important because not all support is not created equally, I’m happy that I now accept my choice of texlaxed hair. It’s also making me a bit more comfortable with natural hair which is my future goal (when, I don’t know).
I took you on this roller coaster because the healthier choice is not always the funnest one. Choice-wise, I wanted to texlax for the purpose of having healthier hair (because bone straight wasnt my friend) and I wanted to relapse soooo many times but didn’t. Instead, I just continued to learn it. Within this time, I have seen that while more women are making the choice to texlax, most are still transitioning and becoming natural or just remaining relaxed. Texlaxing is still kinda in the air out there and outside of blogs and forums, not many women know about it.
Mentally and Appearance-wise it is harder. There are some women who ask me “if you want to leave that much texture in the hair, why not just stop relaxing?” and others who comment “your hair doesn’t look relaxed, you sure you did it right?” These questions seem silly, and trust me, there are far more, but they really make you think about personal choices and appearance. I consider myself to be pretty confident, but often, I question if people a) remembered their transitions, b) how they felt when people questioned their motives and c) if knowledge of hair health is known at all. This also depends on the individual making comments too, but most of these questions come from equal amounts of naturals and relaxed chicas. In the end, it takes on a mental toll, regardless of big or small. IRL, while I am happy with my hair life and decision, the only people I really only have hair talk with is my cousin who wigs it up all the time (I have no idea what lurks beneath the surface, but I believe its natural), my sister who is texlaxed now from natural and my friend who is natural. Why? Beacause my brain doesn’t hurt after a few sentences #sistagirlattitudewave
In the end, would I, have I and do I recommend texlaxing? Yes. It has its many benefits and I am eager to educate those who have questions and want to go ahead with the decision. It is definitely making me a happy mujer.
Anything I haven’t address. Please, let me know!
One Day, It Will Happen