You’ve Got A Friend In Me!

A couple of weeks ago, my friend came to me and said “Tasia, I need to get my hair life!” So I’ve been helping her.

Something I have learned about newbies is that they are very scared to give up old habits and starting a hair journey is not easy; even for pros. There is a lot involved so with newbies, its important to start with two simple questions: “What do you want to achieve?” And “How can you make this decision work for you?” The reason I say that is because some people start a journey with unrealistic goals or with a perception that isn’t necessary. For example, in NYC it is very common for your relaxed hair to be cared for by a beautician, so most relaxed chicas won’t stray from the salon because they fear their hair will break or go through great lengths to blame beauticians when the decision was theirs all along.

When I asked my friend the first question, she told me she wanted thicker hair with versatility and she wouldn’t mind being semi-natural like me. I laughed so hard! She wanted to do more styles but she didn’t think she could achieve that with bone straight hair. I told her she could achieve more styles but that she’d have to give up heat or under process.

The second question is harder because now this person has to rethink the time this decision involves. My friend has a 3yr old son so she is also new to the fact that a hair journey isn’t easy and her goals may not be a reality yet. She didn’t know you could wash your hair how ever many times a week you want to. She thought only every other week. Now she is washing weekly.

I told her it will get harder as she goes along, because once she used up her Wen, she has to enter the real world of “finding the right products”. I told her how to do a twist/braid out and it worked really well for her #claps. I left her at that. I didn’t want to overwhelm her.

Then, what do you know, I get a good morning text and that she was up until 4am watching YouTube on how to style hair and that she needs a regimen #instepstasia and now, I can help her make a regimen.

Why not tell her to begin with? How many of you have a “simple” regimen. We try to make it simple, but we have to make it work for us and I know for a fact that while I simplified my reggie, it is not simple. A regimen is complicated and usually consist of 3 of each item you use (at least mine does). The steps of a wash day are hard enough. So for a newbie used to others doing this for them, it can be hard.

Now, she needs a regimen and now I can recommend to her the basics before its gets complicated. I will recommended:
Poo clarifier and a regular poo. With or without sulphate is her decision.
Conditioner I will recommend a moisture based and a protein based one.
Leave-In and Moisturizer I would recommend one water based and one cream based one that she could use interchangeably.
Sealers Castor oil is very well know and easy to obtain. If something else is desired, I would make recommendation based on complaints of the CO.
Additionals A satin scarf is never a bad idea, YouTube helps with hair day woes, a seamless comb is always in fashion and a boars hair brush is never a bad thing. You will always find a good use to perm rods and flexi rods. It never hurts.

If my regimen is asked and she wants to incorporate tea rinses and Ayurvedic oils and products, who am I to stop this. It’s all about when she is ready, not the advice I am ready to give her.

Is there anything I’m missing? What would you add to the list of recommendations? How would you tell someone to start a journey?

One Day, It Will Happen
Tasia B.

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3 thoughts on “You’ve Got A Friend In Me!

  1. *Snap Snap* I love the line “It’s all about when she is ready, not the advice I am ready to give her.” It’s soo easy to throw everything that we’ve learned in the past 3-4 years on a newbie then expect them not to get overwhelmed. I love your start and I think that it’s perfect!

    KLP @ SavingOurStrands

  2. I totally agree with you – step by step is best! I have a friend, with a lot of heat damage, that asked me for healthy hair advice a couple months ago. I started with using less heat and how to make styles last without using it daily. She asked how often she should relax, I told her to try to make it to 8 weeks. She looked stunned 🙂 I figured once she got those down she’d be ready for more!

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