I know I’m anal when it comes to my hair and products but let me state something. When I started my journey, it was with heat damaged, moisture overloaded, bone straight, thin, relaxed, breaking and between SL and APL hair that was nice at the moment but speaking in this moment, I would never wish it for anyone. I will admit that I have a very nice texture hair, but I didn’t appreciate it and luckily, because hair grows, I am getting the chance to really love it a second time around.
I started my hair journey back in late October, early November 2011. Lets get into a few things.
After I graduated college in September 2008, I had began working at my current job. There was a girl on the train platform (we actually lived in the same neighborhood) and her ponytail was super thick and nice and reached from her crown to about shoulder length. I thought nothing of it, since I had been seeing her for years and it always looked like that. Fast forward June 2009 and her pony tail reached her bra strap. Then I saw her wear it out and it was MBL. I couldn’t figure out what she was doing for the life of me, all I knew was that I wanted longer hair. She’s black btw.
So I started going to the salon religiously every two weeks, started steaming, bringing my Pantene (smh), getting my ends cut every two months, but nothing. Hindsight is a 20/20 b****. Meanwhile, this girls hair was flourishing. Instead of me wondering what she was using, I wanted to figure out what she was doing and how she was doing it. When I kept seeing little progress, I fell into the mind trap that “my hair doesn’t grow” and almost felt complacent with that.
By October 2011, I had finally grew 2 inches of hair (yes, really) and I couldn’t understand how so little. By this time, I had put complete faith in my hair dresser to make sure my hair was growing. That would be the normal way of thinking. I was getting tired of the fact of when I relaxed, she would take of almost 1-1.5 inch each time and I was stretching 10-12 weeks at the time. She even told me I wasn’t combing enough and I found that unbelievable since I read online you shouldn’t comb too much.
Finally, my hair started breaking all in the crown area. Forget breaking, shredding! Didn’t know why, but my hair dresser insulted me by saying it was because I didn’t comb my hair. Meanwhile, for the previous two weeks, I had only been wearing ponytails and buns. I had thin spots and thin hair. So when she told me I needed to cut 4 inches of hair, from about APL to NL/SL, I went crazy. I told her I had just gotten a relaxer 2 weeks ago, and she said nothing of a cut when I asked, stating my ends were good, but two weeks later I need 4 inches taken off. I wanted to punch her. I allowed her to take of 1 inch and I never returned again.
Right after that, my focus wasn’t even long hair, it was just getting it healthy. Not even a month later, my crown was breaking badly and was mere inches from my scalp due to constant breakage. The breakage would have increased to probably my entire head had it not been for LHCF and Hairlista and learning that the breakage I had was due to moisture overload. It took 4 HARD protein treatments in 2 months to correct that moisture overload. I also had to get porosity under control, but honestly, after I corrected my moisture overload with a protein, it became less of a problem. Protein became a constant in my regimen.
Because I knew my hair was not healthy, I knew health had to be my first concern. Because my hair was in such a bad state, I didn’t even care about length. I had to learn mostly how to just clip my ends and let those dead ends go. Everything else was easy. Then came learning products, oils, trial and error and all that good stuff. After only 2 weeks on my journey, my hair was super thicker. After a year and a half, I wonder how I put my hair in the care of another who knew nothing of hair.
Now, here I am, not even wondering what this girl does anymore. I’m wondering what the next goal will be. I watch YouTube videos and read numerous blogs (they give me life) and all I want to learn from people is HOW they are doing it. That is very important. There is no magic pill.
I wanted to share my story because its one of many but few that are truly shared. Had this girl not given me an eye opener, I would probably still be in some partial mindset of “getting my hair life”. Sometimes I wish I could thank her, but that’s creepy, you know.
I cut out my husbands face, because I did not post this with permission but this is me before my journey New Years 2011, 10 months before my journey.
Something to always remember is that its not what you use, but how you use it. If a protein treatment makes your hair too hard and overloaded when you use it, next time try using it with little or no heat. If using heat is too much on your hair, omit it; if its not being used, try using it to see if it yields better styling results. Direct heat got you down, try indirect heat. You think your hair is too fragile, try air drying. A product you love is not yielding the results your use to, determine if its the season or a product conflict. Find a hair buddy. You don’t have to have the same hair type, but I have found better products and experimented with other products after having a hair buddy.
It’s not the WHAT, it’s the HOW. Your hair can’t flourish in dopeness if its continuously subjected to wackness. Its not an insult, just a hard truth that I learned that the hard way.
Keep learning, keep succeeding, keep trying and remember:
One Day, It WILL Happen